Choosing to Count

When life feels overwhelming...when you feel like you can't come up for air...when you get hit from every angle...


choose to count.


Instead of dwelling on the negative and giving in to my fears and worries...I will choose to count His blessings.

Big boy underwear, super hero style.

Anna reading her Bible out loud...shocked at the words she is reading

{excuse the little sweet boy getting frustrated in the background :) }.

A laugh out loud movie and a few quiet moments on the couch with my husband.

Coffee in the morning...lots of coffee.

Oliver just looking at me, out of the blue, and saying endearingly, 'Mama...'.

Anna singing her heart out during Philip's worship practice, hands raised high.

Warm weather, sunshine, blue skies...and cousins who swing with you.

Mommy dates and first time pedicures.  

Family who supports and loves you.

This girl.

And this boy.

Choosing to count, today.

The Day That My Faith Hinges On

Yesterday was beautiful.   


All week long I was anticipating it. All week we talked about and were reminded of His sacrifice.  I was longing for Sunday...to celebrate His resurrection.


Our service was outstanding...as my husband led us in a time of worship, my heart soared.  I sat there beside my grandparents and parents praying for the patriarchs of my family...thankful that they came to see Anna sing (which almost didn't happen...thank the Lord for Miss Sharon!!!).  


I thanked God for His stories of transformation that were shared...knowing that He didn't just conquer death, He conquered our sin as well.  How can we comprehend His love?  

"Father, forgive them," Jesus gasped.  "They don't understand what they're doing."  "You say you've come to rescue us!" people shouted.  "But you can't even rescue yourself!"   

But they were wrong.  Jesus could've rescued himself.  A legion of angels would have flown to his side - if he'd called.  "If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!" they said.  And of course they were right.  Jesus could have just climbed down.  Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop.  Like when he healed that little girl.  And stilled the storm.  And fed the 5,000 people.

But Jesus stayed.

You see, they didn't understand.  It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there.  It was love. 

(From my daughter's Bible...The Jesus Storybook Bible, italics mine) 

So thankful.

Family Easter picture.

Right before a huge meltdown...and naps.

My Husband

This is my husband.

If I had to pick a few words to describe him they would be {ahem}:

passionate, hilarious, devoted, gifted, loving, sensitive, talented,

creative, supportive, encouraging, relatable...

a husband who runs and gets M&Ms and creamer for his wife late at night and 

a dad who builds forts, cuddles and sings songs to our kids.

He has been a musician ever since I have known him.  

My first Christmas gift when we were dating 

was a recorded song written by him for me...at 16.

He has been in bands since his teens, throughout college and today.

I have stood in awe as I have seen God revealing His plan for Philip...for us.

I have watched as he went from working in sales to being in ministry full time.

I have seen God's hand when He healed Philip from throat nodules...being told he would probably never sing again to being told the surgery was a success.

I have stood in awe as he leads me, and our church,

into powerful, God glorifying times of worship...right into His presence.

And now, I have seen God putting something new on Philip's heart...

to write and record a solo album filled with songs worshiping our Creator.

I ask you to please pray with us as we step out in faith.

You can hear Philip's heart in this video. :)

Untitled from Philip Herndon on Vimeo.

If you feel led to partner with us...check it out at The Philip Herndon Worship Project! 
Thank you. :)

A Drink

We went to the youth retreat this weekend that Philip was leading.  Me and the kids.  
I knew that Philip was going to be busy but we wanted to be with him and the teens.
Philip and I used to go to this retreat center when we were teens, before we started dating.
We were in the same youth group. :)
I have so many fun memories there with my friends and life changing, tear-filled weekends.


I went as a youth and then as a youth leader and now as the youth pastor's wife.
And my first retreat with my kids.
I stayed in the director's cabin instead of with the youth.  
We had our own room and our own bathroom. :)


We went to the evening session.  Both the kids were exhausted but were troopers.
We watched the cabin skits and laughed hard.
Anna thought Daddy was so funny acting up there with the guys.  He was.


Worship time started.  Anna stood beside teenage girls and was singing her heart out.  
I held Oliver and was worshiping, too.
Philip started leading one of my favorite songs.  
There is something about singing love songs to my God.  It's one of my favorite things.
The song had barely started and Anna turned and told me she needed a drink.  Now.  She was dying of thirst.  
My attempts to have her wait made her eyes well up with quiet tears.  


Couldn't she see I was singing to the Lord?
Should I demand patience of her? To wait until my favorite song is at least over?
Isn't this what the Lord wants me to be doing? Singing to Him?


And then I looked down at her again.  Her eyes were full of tears.  She was thirsty.
And I heard Him whispering to my heart.


Give her a drink.
Tell her you love her.
Teach them about Me.
You are serving Me when you serve your kids.

We walked out of the room and they drank their hearts out. 
And it hit me.  Again.  I am where He wants me to be.  I am worshiping Him in the small moments of being a mommy to my kids.  


We went back into the session until the message.  It was time for bed.
The three of us left all of the youth, said goodnight to Daddy and walked back to our cabin in the dark, in the snow.
We talked about how funny Daddy was.
We got pajamas on, prayed together and, exhausted, they were asleep within minutes.

'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'   

Matthew 25: 35-40

Freshness of a New Year

Christmas came and went very fast this year.  
Maybe it was how busy we were leading up to Christmas and how busy Philip was throughout the holiday weekend.
We celebrated Jesus' birthday by opening gifts with family FIVE different times.  
It started Friday and ended Monday.
The kids were overjoyed. :)

Needless to say, I had a mild anxiety attack over all of the extra toys in the house and went on a get-rid-of/simplify mission the day after Christmas. :)

And I have been on this mission ever since...

But there is something fun about starting a new year, isn't it?
It's exciting and bittersweet at the same time.
Exciting as we move on to new adventures, new dreams we have for our family.
However it's time that will never happen again.  The kids will keep on growing, changing.
Our life will keep changing.

2011 was filled with lots of different changes, surprises and God's faithfulness.  Tangible, real life examples of His faithfulness.  New job, new home, new friends, new vision, new dreams.
This new year I would love to take more pictures, go on more dates with my husband, have more one-on one dates with my kids, take more field trips, organize a few closets, and {maybe} drink a little less coffee. 

Trust

I have always struggled with worrying about different things and it seemed to have come to a whole new level when I had kids.  All of a sudden you are thrown into a world where everything feels a bit scary and you question everything.  

When they were babies it was...Are they developing ok?  Are vaccines safe? 

Were they just around someone sick?  Do I have the best car seat?  Should we eat all organic?  

Now it's...How can I keep them safe from the evil people in this world?  

What will happen if something happens to Philip or I?  Why does Oliver only like hotdogs? :)

Not only do I struggle with fear with my kids but also in my own life.  A few years ago, I finally admitted to God that I wasn't sure he had my best interest in mind.  I didn't know if He saw my dreams and really cared about them.  

Only because life wasn't exactly how I had pictured it.  

So I had figured I better take control of the situation before I was left unhappy and far from my dreams.  

It took me some time to slowly let go of my grasp on certain dreams and hopes and trust Him with them.  

Actually, I still have to remind myself to let go.

How often have I let fear affect my decisions? my parenting? my life?

In John, chapter 6, we find the disciples out on a boat, in the dark, in the middle of a storm.

Here comes Jesus walking on the water towards them and they were terrified.  

I mean...can you imagine seeing something with your eyes that just wasn't possible?  

He reassured them that it was really Him and told them 'do not be afraid'.  

But after all these years...I missed something in these verses.

Not only does Jesus do this miraculous thing of walking on water, 

it says, in verse 19, that their boat was 3.5 miles from the shore!  

Jesus comes and finds them in the middle of the storm.  

He knows their fears and assures them that they don't need to be scared.

He knows our fears and finds us in our storms no matter how far away we are from the shore.

And He asks us to trust Him.

Trust Him with our fears, our dreams, our hurts, our kids, our life.

And speaking of fears...our sweet Anna finally overcame her fear of being on stage!  

She was able to sing two Christmas songs with her CBS class in front of an audience!! :)

We were so excited and proud of her!!!

He Came to Us

It's beginning to look like Christmas in our home.

The kids had a great time decorating the tree...well Anna was an excited helper...Oliver liked to find the ones that were glass and try to throw them on the tree.  Just the glass ones.

There is something about pulling out your decorations and your ornaments each year and remembering what they represent.  Memories are within these decorations.  Nutcrackers that were given to Philip each year, since he was little, by his Gram.  Things from when we were first married, a cupcake ornament for Anna, an owl ornament for Oliver.

Physical, tangible memories of our life together.

But how do I make them see the wonder of Christmas?

That it is more than presents, decorations, and ornaments?

That the God who we serve, sent his Son, to us, his beloved.

To this place where fear seems to reign, where evil happens everyday 

and injustice is common place.

How do I make them see this grand gesture of love that happened?

He came to us.

Mountains would have bowed down.  Seas would have roared. Trees would have clapped their hands. But the earth held its breath.  As silent as snow falling, he came in.  And when no one was looking, in the darkness, he came.   (The Jesus Storybook Bible)

Because this baby came to chase away the darkness and help people to see.

Hoping that as I try and show my children this wonder this Christmas, 

that my heart would be in awe right along with them.  

Changing Perspective

Playdough on the floor...stuck in carpet

Dog hair everywhere

Breakfast thrown on the floor

Yelling, screaming, crying, fighting over a toy

Picky eaters

Basket of DVDs dumped on the floor

Dishes to clean

Tired

Playing, creating together

Kisses from Bella, a steady faithfulness from a dog

Full bellies, growing limbs, getting older

Learning to live and love together, even when it's hard

Knowing what they love to eat

Anna teaching Oliver how to clean up

Ah...my dishwasher

Blessed